Friday, May 20, 2011

none the wiser

i was reading my past diary entries just the other night
(oh yes, i do write diaries in the past, loads of them)
and it appears that a 21year old me then,
probably wont differ much from me now.

I was then going through a breakup with someone
who was going overseas to study and shortly after,
entangled in another relationship with someone
whom i idolized but didn't want to commit.
It took a good 6 months for me to recover from it all.
And in those 6 months, i wrote almost daily,
jotting down everything that happened,
my emotions, analysis, thoughts,
gave myself prep talks and scoldings
and it went on for...forever.

And i had a sentence that went
"if i was older, more mature,
i would know what to do."
When i was reading through my past and the heartaches and breaks that happened,
i thought to myself
"oh gosh kelly, if it was you now,
what would u do?"
And I had no answer.
Probably the same things.
Just in a less obsessive way. Haha.
So thats why, 5 years later, and none the wiser.

I write the best when i am upset,
heartbroken or confused.
Thankfully the entries dried up soon after i met the BF
cos it started becoming repetitive.
'Dear Diary, I am happy today' x 16.

So whoever who is going through some relationship problems now,
all the world-wisely advice i can offer is..
it may seem like crap now, and you probably think you cant go any lower,
well you are right.
But guess what, when you cant get any lower,
survival instinct kicks in, and it just goes up from then on.
If you like someone who doesn't like you back,
its okay. Shit happens.
You can't force a feeling, and nope,
non-stop messaging/stalking or doing nice stuff like sending him food,
drinks, cushions, i don't know what else people send
does not help. One bit.
Guys are relatively simple creatures.
They either like you. Or not.
(yes, this is for YOU out there)
And you should watch He Is Not That Into You.
That tells you quite simply,
if the guy likes you, he will do something, ANYTHING about it.
And if he doesn't, please move on my dear.

There, all the heavy emo stuff of the night,
time to move on to pics!

i swear i wasn't going for the OL look when i did this outfit.

sneak peak of shirt that we are making.

i dont know why the dress looks indecently short here...

and this is today, when i wore my vest as a top again :)
since i seldom smile in pics, here is a super smalleyescheery smile one!

becks starting her 'wayang' makeup

she is SERIOUSLY overdosing on the blusher but yet u cant see
a thing on the site right? :(

much love,


Anonymous said...

maybe because im going through what you did 5 years ago..and coincidentally im 21 now, i find what you said really meaningful..i guess when you are already at the bottom, things can only start to improve...

missypixie said...

yup! hang in there, someday you will look back at this and laugh at yourself :)

Anonymous said...

haha the overdone blush was v obvious in one the photos on fb, for tonite's collection. shd rly tone it down?

Anonymous said...

because your flash is too bright? its not supposed to be such a big difference

Anonymous said...

hey! are u called kelly or sharon?@.@

Anonymous said...

hello! where did you get ur necklace from? the one with the gold (?) chain and black gem? thankss!!


missypixie said...

It's from diva :)