i apologise for my absence;
september wasn't too good to me.
hit a couple of real bad patches earlier in the month, and before i could even try to think of a proper gameplan to work things out, grandma passed away the very next day.
the rest of the days were spent in a blur - waking at three for prayers, sleeping, waking again at noon to help out at the wake, keeping her company till the wee hours of the morning, cat naps, then waking to pray again.
rinse, and repeat.
i guess no matter how much you prepare for Death it always comes too sudden, like a shock, even though at the back of your mind you knew it would be sooner or later - but we always prefer the latter, no?
never thought my heart would hurt that much but when you know you have really lost someone for good, the memories somehow don't cease to keep flooding your mind.
and seeing your mum and dad cry - well, that just sets the floodgates wide open.
and a cryfest it was, especially on the last day when we had to finish up the rituals. i choked up when we had to call her to come have her last meal - because there it was, set in stone, that i would never be able to call anyone ah ma again.
but in times like these i am happy to see strength in family bonds, strength in relationships, strength in letting go. nothing so brings together a family than events like these - and im sure ah ma would have been happy to know and seen all of these, in wherever better place she's at now :')
sob stories aside, i wasn't in the best of moods for anything much so everything's been pretty quiet, even on the instagram front. just a few pics to share:
steamboat at vivien's place where i cooked and ate slices of hello kitty (haha);
desserts at seventh heaven;
the boy's bit to cheer me up;
what i made at a cake pop class;
and food at random.
“Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated.
But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.”
i'll be back.